“When you change the way you see things,
When you change the way you see your Self,
your whole life changes.
Seeing and understanding yourself in a whole new way requires emotional and mental agility. The keys to getting unstuck from debilitating emotional patterns involve becoming agile in heart and mind so that you can reconnect with the source of your energy and passion for your work, relationships and life. This involves:
- Learning how to design agility and follow-through into your commitments and intentions
- Learning how to cooperate with yourself instead of trying to control yourself to do things
- Discovering your personal sources of energy and making time to renew them regularly
- Cultivating natural distractibility into purposeful ”scanning talent” and creativity
- Cultivating natural impulsivity into an asset, for example, using “pause and scan” combined with “mindful trigger design” that turn “impulsivity and reactivity” into “agile responsiveness”
- Cultivating your natural resourcefulness and ability to strategize and applying it to any areas of your life, even to cleaning your home. For example, if you enjoy playing strategy games, or doing crosswords, you can channel those gaming talents into focused agile productivity
- Learning how to assess your true needs accurately and iteratively, commit to fulfilling the real need, and make decisions in a way that is compatible with your natural way of thinking
- Establishing personal boundaries, and becoming able to say no gently, graciously, and confidently
- Learning how to resolve inner conflicts among needs, values and wants
- Defining your personal standards of “enough” ”success” and “done” so you can release the pressure that is overwhelming you
- Designing simple, agile, organic “infrastructure” that facilitates you to get what really matters done — your way — without so much drama and resistance
Dealing with the Stuckness of Profound Procrastination
f you often feel like you have flashes of brilliance and high potential, but are also often “stuck” and unable to make progress, or if you feel that you know what to do, but just can’t make yourself do it, you have come to the right place. Welcome to the “tribe.” You are not alone!
What you are going through is not normal “procrastination.” It’s a physical and chemical difference in the way your brain works that can lead to chronic, cyclical “stuckness.” This kind of “shutting down” may be caused by the brain wiring inherent in ADHD, Autistic Spectrum, Sensory Process Difficulties, past emotional trauma, abuse, depression, brain injury, and more. When you don’t understand what’s happening to you, and you don’t know what to do about it, it is incredibly frustrating. If you think it’s a character flaw, the devastation is even worse.
Well-meaning people give you advice and tips that just don’t work and make you feel even worse about yourself. But on the other hand, you just KNOW there is so much potential inside you! It’s a vicious cycle. If you often feel like the part of you that “wants to do things” is completely disconnected from the part of you that “does things”, you know exactly what I mean.
What Really Works?
I’ve spent a lifetime learning what causes the phenomenon of feeling like your brain and you are separate. People like us simply do not and cannot function simply by ordering ourselves to do things. I’ve learned that, for people like us, being productive and feeling fulfilled does not come from planning, controlling, and scheduling life. It comes from the spontaneous, unplanned discoveries and “happy accidents” of life. It comes from rediscovering the simple positive feelings that come from reconnecting the dance of life unscripted — from responding to needs as they arise…not on a schedule. Embracing the consistency of unpredictability and the mystery of uncertainty is the way to flourishing with ADHD and any neurodiverse mind.
The truth is that people like us were designed to be “agile”, not stable and consistent followers of plans. For us, planning, controlling and scheduling our lives sounds good in theory but when we try to do it (or overdo it) we feel like our souls are being suffocated – it’s like a living death. Luckily, there are ways to live life and accomplish meaningful goals and results, without having to follow a planned script or futilely trying to apply the advice of people who truly don’t understand how our unique brains and thought processes work.
Life Design is an mindset you cultivation and a skillset you can learn which makes the uncertainties and ups and downs of life a whole lot easier to experience.
My own journey of learning to live with a neurodiverse mind (exceptionally sensitive, creative, ADHD, and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) led me to a career that thankfully taught me organizational design, systems design, leadership, facilitation and human performance engineering, user interface design, information design, functional and visual design, job design and workflow engineering. (see my Career Vita and Timeline here) I was incredibly lucky to learn these skills at work and be able to translate them into my personal life.
Holistic Design thinking, systems thinking and functional needs assessment combined to empower me to evolve a simpler, less stressful, more authentic life that really fits with my intense drive to be of service, teach and creatively evolve my life and work as I learn and grow. My life’s work and personal challenges have given me 50 years of education, experience and training to draw upon to help you succeed in transforming your life.
My intention is to bring you the best of what REALLY works to shift your energy, get unstuck, get inspired into action, and get real results. My multidisciplinary approach to coaching, mentoring, facilitating and teaching includes helping you learn how to:
- Confidently navigate life rather than control it.
- Design infrastructure that enables you to creatively orchestrate and flexibly organize resources to produce consistently meaningful results.
- Refocus on “what’s right with you” and reconnect with your passion, gifts, and talents
- Commit to fulfilling your emotional needs in a simple, agile way instead of resenting and sacrificing them in a way that leads to addictive and compulsive behavior that feels out of control
- Live an agile, productive life in a way that is compatible with your natural improvisational style
- Rebuild your self-confidence by designing more success into your life
- Identify and change the patterns of inner conflict and harsh self-criticism that lead to stuckness
- Establish, communicate and negotiate clear, agile personal boundaries in a way that strengthens your relationships and sense of self-worth
- Set up ultra-simple agile systems that inspire you and make organizing a source of self-affirmation and stress relief – not agony – so that you can more productively orchestrate the building blocks of your life: home, work, relationships, finances, time, actions, and information
My mission is to bring you leading edge innovative support that really works to facilitate you in making the tough decisions needed to make room for what you really want in life — like a home you enjoy being in, a career, business, or profession you love, relationships that nourish you, better health, less stress, and feeling safe to be your authentic self in the world.
Not sure where to start?
Here are a few suggestions. Before you do anything else, if you resonate with my message so far I suggest getting on my mailing list. Don’t worry, I won’t start sending pushy emails every day after you sign up. I hate that, too!
Then, ff you read nothing else on this site, read these popular articles:
- “What is Chronic Disorganization vs. Situational Disorganization?”
- “Is it Adult ADHD or Creative Personality Type?”
- ”Myths and Facts about Adult ADHD” A Free PDF Chart
I’ve tried to answer the most frequently asked questions on this website. If you have questions about working with me, please visit my “Coaching Packages” information page here!