Agile Living Bookstore

“Books inspire and challenge me to

let go of what I think I know

so that I can truly grow.”
Ariane Benefit

This bookstore is stocked with books I have personally chosen because they have helped me

  • challenge conventional thinking
  • become my own best friend
  • heal my pain and suffering
  • grow wiser about how to design a life that fits me
  • help others design lives that fit them.

I don’t try to get people to live the way I do or do things my way.  I delight in helping them more fully accept, understand, and respect themselves as they design their own unique life path.  I hope you find something here that intrigues, inspires and challenges you to grow stronger in your acceptance and respect for yourself.

Learning can be Healing but….

Reader Beware. Reading can be Dangerous to Your Self-Esteem.   When reading books, it’s important to remember that most self-help books are written by people who are certain that what works for them will work for everyone.  NOT TRUE.

When asked, the authors will say, “I know said “everyone”, but of course that doesn’t include people who are depressed, have ADHD or have Anxiety issues, it means “normal people. Normal people know that everyone doesn’t really mean literally everyone.”

Yes, I actually asked a best-selling author of a book that question and that’s what he answered.

When you are “different,” and you read books that “prescribe” vs. “suggest” ideas and strategies –  BEWARE. You are vulnerable to experiencing deep disappointment in yourself when you try out those strategies that may not work and realize you end up feeling more defective, and like more of a freak than before.

Books that take the tone of “Do This” or “I Guarantee that if you follow these steps, it will work”  are books that TELL you what to do can be dangerous unless you use them KNOWING that you need to be highly skeptical and critical as you read them.

Books that say “Try this out”  or “customize it to your own needs”  or that teach you how to assess your unique needs and use your self-knowledge to design your own custom strategies and solutions are FAR more valuable to your long-term personal growth.

Even books written by people with ADHD for people with ADHD fall into this trap. Many ADHD authors think, “I have ADHD and this works for me so it will work for everyone else that has ADHD.”  AGAIN NOT TRUE.

Everyone’s ADHD is different.  Every person diagnosed with ADHD has so many other aspects to their personalities, biology, abilities that it’s nearly useless to generalize.

Bottom line is this.  When reading self-help books never assume that the book will transform your life, or that the author’s strategies will work for you, or that there is something wrong with you if they don’t.  Author’s are just people and there are no book police making sure that everything they say is actually true.  So BEWARE.

That said, you CAN learn a lot from books. I am a big believer in “biblio-therapy” and “logo-therapy” aka healing through learning.

Books that teach you HOW to think instead of WHAT to think are immensely valuable to me.  But in books as in life, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you discover the best ones.  Books that expand your understanding of how we are different from each other,  teach you how what seems true may not be, promote acceptance of diversity, and that seek to illuminate your own thinking processes rather than just tell you what to think or do, those that the books that help you accept yourself and enhance your life.

Books that help you design your own custom-designed, unconventional, and even counter-intuitive strategies for getting things done, are far more likely to help you get satisfying results.

In the bookstore I’ve built here, I seek to include “neuro-friendly” books that offer the latest research-based ideas, mindset and skills.  Most of the books here offer ideas and suggestions rather than prescribe how you “should be” or “should do” things. Those that do offer prescriptions are ones that offer great ideas may be worth trying out – even if they don’t work – so that you can learn more about yourself and get better at designing and iterating your own custom approaches to agile living.


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I get asked this question often, so I thought I’d share my response to an email I received.  Hope it helps you get unstuck and decide where to start agilizing, too. Continue reading

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