Top 10 Mistakes People Make when Trying to Change Behavior

Great presentation. Fits very nicely with my AgiliZen approach to designing and changing habits. I’m working on my own version of this to add 10 more to this list.  : ) 
 

Notes

This is NOT a recipe for how to end a compulsive or hard to stop habit like eating sugar, interrupting people, etc. Strategizing how to change unwanted habits is much more complex and custom to the individual. 

If you are “neurodiverse” or tend to be impulsive, compulsive or suffer from chronic procrastination, anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc. this information is helpful, but not “everything” you need to know to start a new habit. In particular, learning more about trigger design, self-acknowledgement, and iterative systems design so that you can design your environments to support the changes you want to make is crucial.


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The 8 Habits of Agility 

Mythbusting: Are New Habits Established in 21 Days? (from my NEAT & SIMPLE LIVING blog)

Is it worth trying to change your habits? If so, how can you make it easier to change habits? (NEAT & SIMPLE LIVING)

How we learn to Procrastinate

 Agile Life Lessons:  Dealing with Setbacks

The Agile Way: What it takes to live a productive life – Your Way – for highly sensitive, creative, gifted, ADHD, or Neurodiverse

This video summarizes the underlying principles of Agile Life Design.  I made it in September 2011 and at that time I was calling it “quantum” productivity.  Quantum principles are still part of the philosophy underlying the principles and strategies in the Agile Life Design Toolkit, but I felt that Agile was more accurately descriptive of the “way” I approach life design.

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Unschooling and Deschooling – Why we need to care what these words mean.

 When I met Homeschool Therapist,  Michelle Barone, MA MFT, I had never heard of “un” schooling, but boy have I learned a lot since.  I was delighted to speak at her extraordinary Unschooling Summit in May 2012.  The more I learn from her about unschooling the more I see the connections between my work and hers.  

She helps parents take back their rights to guide their children to LOVE learning rather than be taught to be obedient, compliant, and overly focused on achievement and getting A’s.  I help people re-learn how to enjoy the process of organizing their lives, home, work, and time by reclaiming their right to design their entire approach to organizing and decision-making to fit the way they think and function.  Just as we all learn in our own way, we all organize in our own way.   


“Designing Your Life to Fit Your Neurodiversity”
(Brain – Based Differences)
Purchase the recording of the one hour interview from Michelle’s Website for $6.97.

  Purchase the Recording

 


What is  “Unschooling” and why is it such a big deal?

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Agile Life Design Studio – 2012 Program Description with Free Videos

What is Agile Life Design™?  

Agile Life Design™ is a human‐centered approach to cultivating personal agility and meaning in the age of uncertainty – where being in control of life’s curve balls is simply not an option.

Agile Life Design is a way of life, a process and a toolkit for healing chronic overwhelm, indecision, exhaustion and disorganization and for “Cultivating Personal Agility, Productivity & Well-being” 

Agile Life Design - Tools for Healing Chronic Overwhelm, Clutter, and Disorganization - Cultivating Personal Agility, Design ThinkingAgile Life Design integrates ancient wisdom with modern science, universal principles, essential life skills you don’t learn in school, sustainable processes and customizable strategies into a toolkit for mastering the 8 Dances of Life. Continue reading

Tips for Choosing the Right Office Chair for You

Choosing an office chair can be daunting.  Most people are quick to tell you their favorite chair.  But how do you know if it fit your needs?  On her Facebook Page, ADHD Coach, Krickett Harrison recently asked for help choosing a chair and inspired me to write this article for you.  Hope you find it useful.


Why Should You Care about Your Office Chair?

If you spend a lot of time at your computer, your office chair is the second only to your bed in terms of affecting your physical and emotional health and your overall productivity. Having had a back injury when I was in college, I’ve been through over 15 office chairs in my search for a chair that supported my needs and I’ve learned a few things about choosing office chairs that I’ll share with you here.

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Wholehearted Living is also Agile Living – Dr. Brene Brown

Dr. Brené Brown is a researcher professor at the University of Houston, Graduate College of Social Work, where she has spent the past ten years studying vulnerability, shame, courage, and whole-hearted living.

Clients often ask me if there is a book or resource for learning more about what I teach regarding self-acceptance, self-respect, self-acknowledgment and self-compassion. Dr. Brené Brown’s work is among the best resources available today.

Below are resources from Dr. Brené Brown I wholeheartedly recommend.

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Intensity is a form of neurodiversity. Steve Jobs is a GREAT example of Intensity.

Intensity of energy, drive, compassion, and frustration is a well-documented aspect of having extraordinary intelligence and empathy. Steve Jobs was lucky he had productive outlets for his intensity, but he also paid a high price.  I deeply admire that he was strong enough to not let his creative passion be subdued or muted by the people around him who were clueless about how to cultivate or cope with his intense drive to innovate.

Luckily he insisted on cultivating it himself. Even when he got booted from Apple for his emotional intensity, he refused to give up and moved on to become the force behind Pixar and Toy Story.

It takes a very intense kind of person to challenge the status quo and do what people say can’t be done. Not only were lots of people not supporting him, they were actively trying to suppress and modify him as well. How long would you stand up for your big idea if everyone around you was trying to change it?

“But for all his obnoxiousness with his colleagues…, Jobs had a rich collaborative streak as well. He was enough of an egomaniac to think of himself as another John Lennon, but he was always looking for McCartneys to go along for the ride with him.”

 

This is a quote from Steven Johnson, author of the brilliant book  Where Good Ideas Come From: The Natural History of Innovation speaking about Steve Jobs in this article:  thoughts-on-steve-jobs-the-book

To me, this is a kind of intellectual bullying – the kind that creative, emotionally intense and gifted adults and children experience their whole lives.Intense people are often unaware of the affect they have on people and  consequently their intentions and thinking process are deeply misunderstood by others.  Intensity is a form of neurodiversity.  Unharnessed, emotional, intellectual and energetic intensity can feel overwhelming to people. 

To me, Steve Jobs exhibited a personality trait called “hypersystemizing” or “addicted to insight.” Hypersystemizing has a biological basis and is often the driving force behind the kind of idealism and perfectionist behavior that Steve Jobs displayed. This is not everyday perfectionism, however. It’s a deep driving need to create something truly magnificent and not let others water down the visionary ideas with “groupthink.”


READ THE FULL UPDATED ARTICLE
 
Intensity – What makes intensely creative, emotional and gifted adults like Steve Jobs prone to abrasiveness AND to being bullied themselves?


RELATED ARTICLE How to Cultivate the Gifts of Emotional Intensity, ADHD, Creative Intensity and other Traits of Neurodiversity

Intensity – What makes intensely creative, emotional and gifted adults like Steve Jobs prone to troubling relationship issues?

I was truly dismayed to see someone as influential and talented as Steven Johnson, author of the brilliant book  Where Good Ideas Come From: The Natural History of Innovation say this about Steve Jobs:

“But for all his obnoxiousness with his colleagues…, Jobs had a rich collaborative streak as well. He was enough of an egomaniac to think of himself as another John Lennon, but he was always looking for McCartneys to go along for the ride with him.”

SOURCE: http://www.stevenberlinjohnson.com/2011/10/thoughts-on-steve-jobs-the-book.html

To me, this is an example of the kind of socially accepted intolerance, bias, and disparaging name-calling that creative, emotionally intense and gifted adults (and children) frequently experience their entire lives. Even though Mr. Johnson is intending to show the “other” side of Steve Jobs complex personality, it doesn’t excuse his perpetuating the portrayal of Steve as an “obnoxious egomaniac.”   Those are some powerfully degrading and hurtful words for such a respected author to be using as though they were mere objective facts and not defamatory or derogatory character slurs. Continue reading