Agile Life Design Studio – Tools + Support for Getting Unstuck, Cultivating Personal Agility, and Healing Procrastination, Overwhelm, Frustration and Disorganization


Agile Life Design - Tools for Healing Chronic Overwhelm, Clutter, and Disorganization - Cultivating Personal Agility, Productivity, Well being, Design Thinking

What is Agile Life Design™?  

Agile Life Design™ is a human‐centered approach to cultivating personal agility and meaning in the age of uncertainty – where being in control of life’s curve balls is simply not an option.

Agile Life Design integrates ancient wisdom with modern science, universal principles, essential life skills you don’t learn in school, sustainable processes and customizable strategies into a toolkit for identifying and responding to rapidly changing needs and the associated challenges.

The Agile Life Design toolkit offers:

  • Inner confidence in your own ability navigate the uncertainties of life.
  • Cultivating the skillset required to calm your fears and muster the courage to course correct as needed.
  • Tools, strategies and skills required to resolve inner conflicts, reduce the risk of making choices you regret and to design your life, work and productivity systems to more easily evolve with you as you learn and grow.

Agile Life Design is a toolkit for healing chronic overwhelm, indecision, exhaustion and disorganization and for “Cultivating Personal Agility, Productivity & Well-being” 


What is the Agile Life “Design Studio”?

I’m working on a website that combines a home study version of the program with additional group support for getting through the material.

 ******REGISTRATION  will open soon****


 What You Get in the Studio

Access to our private website which includes:

  •  Agile Life Design Classes taught by me – [MP3 Recordings + Handouts] 
  • Master Classes: “Inside the Life Designer Studio” [Videos of me interviewing "Masters" of personal agility to inspire you in your journey]
  • A Virtual Gift Bag [Gift classes and other resources from the Master Class guest teachers]
  • Access to my Exclusive Private Blog
  • A library of my best books, classes and Printable PDFs to support you with specific challenges such as Organizing 101, Sharing Spaces, My Home Office Organizing Book, Resources and tools for designing custom paper, financial and other organizing systems, and more.
  • Daily Online Text Chat Room Support Hours for meeting up with other people who are working on putting Agile Life Design into practice in their lives.
  • Priority placement on my personal coaching wait list.

The Agile Life Design Classes Include:

  • Could You Be Addicted to Potential? How to tell, How to Detox
  • The Role of Life Purpose in Designing your Life
  •  Introduction to the Agile Mindset
  •  Introduction to the ADEPT Design™Process
  • Designing the 8 Dances of Life
  • Orchestrating Your Home & Things
  • Designing Respect-Based Relationships
  • Designing the Dance with Money, Work and Career with Special Guest Teacher, Manisha Thakor, Personal Finance Expert, author of MoneyZen, Get Financially Naked, and more
  • Designing the Dance with Information and Paper
  • Choreographing Your Time
  • Designing Your Day - The Agile Way
  • and more

Master Classes: “Inside the Life Designer’s Studio”

A series of interviews with an incredible array of successful innovators who take us “behind the scenes” into their adventures in cultivating agility and designing their lives.  I’ve invited people whose lives are inspirational showcases of Agile Life Design to reveal their stories of how they have followed their hearts, and designed their lives and work to fit them.   Guest Teachers include (Click here to see the Bio Page)

  • Lissa Boles, Soul Mapper
  • Shawn Shepheard, Inspirational Speaker
  • Dr. Rory Stern, Family and Child ADHD Coach
  • Tara McGillicuddy, Senior ADHD Coach
  • Liz Marshall, Author, Marketing Strategist
  • Janet Goldstein, Publishing Strategist, Literary Agent

Who is this for?

It’s for anyone who struggles with overwhelm, procrastination, perfectionism, making time for important activities, self-care, self-organizing, clutter, inner conflicts, making tough choices, saying “no”, or changing unwanted habits.

You are not alone. There is a huge tribe of us experiencing the confusion of being so capable, yet so challenged by the uncertainties, curve balls, and extraordinary demands, of life on our time, energy and attention.

It’s for outliers everywhere: change agents, challengers, Tweakers, ADHD, highly sensitive, intuitives, healers, caregivers and others who are vulnerable to intense emotional overwhelm, exhaustion, stuckness, indecision, anxiety, and stress.


What People are Saying about My Classes

ariane-500x500.jpgThe only way I know to teach and speak are from the heart. I am passionate about communicating ideas and encouraging people to think for themselves. I don’t “pitch.”  In my world classes are NOT code for “marketing pitches.”

I will however, share with you what other people have to say about this program and other programs I’ve taught. I could never write this kind of stuff about myself!


“WOW! The Design Studio  Package is a GOLDMINE OF RESOURCES. Thank you for your generosity in sharing these resources, providing the Agile Life Design classes and master classes, and for sharing so much of yourself with us. You are truly extraordinary!”

 

“I listen to a lot of webinars and I have never seen anyone given so much of themselves, be so authentic, and offer so much truly valuable information. Thanks again for sharing, you are a blessing!”

 

“I have been so blessed by this program. This has touched many of my own passions and desire to grow and share. I have been so inspired and excited and would like to continue to be a part of the tribe, the conversations and the support.”

 

“I’m thrilled to have found a coach/expert and other folks who think like me (or vice versa) and are addressing neurodiversity and the challenges of living in our culture! I am a sociologist by training and have worked in mental health education in consumer/peers support and feel your Agile Life Design framework would be so valuable in that arena.”

 

“Following your program these last weeks has been exciting, a light of hope.  I truly believe you have compiled a very deep and thorough approach to help people in many ways. I look forward to applying what I’ve learned to working with my future husband to co-design our new life together!
Thank you Ariane.”

 

“Thank you SO much for all that you have given us in this program. I want to be sure you know that you’ve made a huge difference in my life, and the way I approach life’s challenges and triumphs.

 

“I decided to try your ADEPT Design Process and create my version of a flow chart for incoming mail.  It did help me “see” the problem visually. At first I made one for the REAL way I deal with mail now and then made another with the IDEAL way I would like it to be – now I can tweak the way I do it to get it closer to the the way I would like it to be. You are teaching me how to look at my behavior more compassionately and design new ways for me to support my own nature instead of trying to conform to someone else’s system. Thanks for helping me trust myself more.”

 

“Thanks so much for your insights into how relationships and abuse are intertwined in how we design our homes.  I was especially moved by your explanation of what can be considered abuse, it was a real eye opener. Your ideas on creating a home based on how it functions to fill needs rather than how others think it should be really resonated with me. I really am worth it!   Great work, Ariane!”

 

 


 

What inspired Agile Life Design?

I’ve been teaching aspects of this framework since 2005 in a kind of “as-needed” way. When I noticed that all my clients had great success once they learned an agile “design” approach to organizing, I realized this was not just a coincidence.  I needed to teach design and the concepts of agility outright.

I’ve been working to pull it all together into a cohesive book on Healing Chronic Disorganization by Cultivating Personal Agility with the Healing Power of Design for the past 2 years (though my whole life of 52 years has really been the preparation to write this book.)  I’m finally ready to share the work I’ve been evolving since I first started publishing the Neat & Simple Living approach to organizing as a blog back in 2005.

My intention is to share the processes and tools in a way that is easy to understand, but without “dumbing it down” and pretending that healing this problem is “a recipe you can follow in 3 easy steps.”  It’s not. It’s a custom journey that each person walks – on their own path, at their own speed.

Wishing you an ever agile heart and mind,

ariane-sig-2012-65.png

Ariane Benefit, M.S.Ed.
Founder, Agile Life Design™, Author, Speaker, Productivity Healer:

Using the healing power of design thinking + purpose + love to heal chronic overwhelm, disorganization, and clutter; cultivate personal agility; respond to human problems with human-centered solutions, and change the world —  one life at a time.

 


 

FACEBOOK PAGE Agile Life Design  where you can start connecting with the tribe, leave me a note on the wall, and get all the latest updates as this project evolves.   

TWITTER HASHTAG: #agiledesign  


 

Referral Directory – Diagnosis & Treatment – Neuropsychological Assessment: Is it ADHD, OCD, Autism, Asperger’s, Bipolar, PTSD?

I often get asked for referrals to medical professionals whose services may be covered by insurance and can diagnose and provide therapy and/or pharmaceutical treatments for living with neurodiversity. 

The neurodiverse spectrum includes gifted, talented, highly sensitve, ADHD, OCD, Autism, Asperger’s, Bipolar, PTSD, auditory and other sensory processing disorders, dyslexia, depression, anxiety, and more.  Many of these conditions are a combination of biological brain wiring, genetic influences and traumas stemming from environmental, emotional, physical, family and educational incidents that deeply hurt the individual and triggered the learning of unhealthy metacognitive and coping strategies. 

Diagnosis and medication can be an extremely valuable part of healing.  However, true healing requires learning new metacognitive skills such as self-monitoring, self-teaching, self-cooperation and design thinking which includes needs assessment, creative and critical thinking, conflict resolution, adaptive thinking, and decision-making strategies.

With that in mind, below are resources for your consideration.  Keep in mind that choosing a service provider is a very personal decision.  Finding the right person for you may require multiple attempts – especially if you are highly intelligent or sensitive. 

 Keep the faith.  There are people out there who can help you.  But like many things in our lives…it may not be an easy process to find the right support for you. 

Got a service provider who helped you?  Are a Neurodiverse-friendly practioner who gets thats the label isn’t the whole story?

Please leave a comment below and share Name, Location, brief description, website and /or phone number.  Thank you! 

(I do screen the comments but if you are legit, your name will appear within a couple days.)


Tips for Choosing the Right Office Chair for You

Choosing an office chair can be daunting.  Most people are quick to tell you their favorite chair.  But how do you know if it fit your needs?  On her Facebook Page, ADHD Coach, Krickett Harrison recently asked for help choosing a chair and inspired me to write this article for you.  Hope you find it useful.


Why Should You Care about Your Office Chair?

If you spend a lot of time at your computer, your office chair is the second only to your bed in terms of affecting your physical and emotional health and your overall productivity. Having had a back injury when I was in college, I’ve been through over 15 office chairs in my search for a chair that supported my needs and I’ve learned this.

What Matters Most in Choosing an Office Chair?

It’s not about the brand, or the price, it’s about paying attention to your own personal needs and preferences.  If you are a highly sensitive person like me, lots of little things matter that other people could not care less about.  I offer my personal criteria not as a “prescription” that these should matter to you, but for you to consider whether or not they make a difference to you.

I suggest first make a list of exactly what you don’t like about your current office chair and any past office chairs you didn’t like to help you start creating criteria for new office chair.  Then think about any office chairs you really liked, but be careful.

Types of Office Chairs

Office chairs that are comfortable for reading, or meeting with other people (usually called “executive office chairs” and may have really high backs with head and neck rests) are not usually supportive or comfortable for long stretches of time spent working at a computer or on a project.

Chairs for working in are usually called either computer or task chairs and usually only go as high as your mid back. 

Office Chair Features that Matter to Me

Below are some of the features that really matter to me. Because I tend to hyperfocus, having the right chair helps me get more done and avoid emotional fatigue, energy drain and back pain.

  • Sturdy easy to roll around on wheels – I also don’t use carpet in my office…in one of my past offices I  laid down a linoleum renmant from home depot to make sure my chair rolled easily.
  • Adjustable height – I have short legs and dislike having to get on tippy toes just to get into my chair.  I also need my keyboard to be at 25 – 26 inches from the floor. Being able to adjust the chair height allows me to raise the chair to use my dining table ergonomically when I have a project I need to spread out on.
  • No pressure on my shoulders – chairs that put pressure on my shoulders really aggravate my neck and shoulder muscles. I had adhesive capsulitis in my right shoulder and also carpal tunnel from my many years of computer work (I programmed on the first Apple in college and been using computers ever since!)   I wish I’d changed from an executive chair to a task chair earlier.  It makes a huge difference. 
  • Lumbar Support –  Lumbar support hits in the right place…seems most lumbar support hits my mid back instead of my actual lower back.
  • Great cushioning for both seat and back. –  I found that the aeron style mesh backs feel too hard and make my back stiffen up as if I’m leaning on a board.
  • Soft, Smooth Leather or Pleather covering.  Being a Highly Sensitive tactile person…I also can’t stand the roughish feel of mesh and other fabrics.  Many chair fabrics actually leave an imprint on and irritate / cause itching on the backs of my legs.  I also need leather or smooth pleather on my office chairs because I have cats.  Their fur doesn’t stick to leather so I don’t have to constantly use a roller to get the cat hair off.  Plus, you know how cats tend to cough up hairballs?  With leather that is super easy to clean up and NO STAINS!
  • Color and Visual appeal – One thing I have learned is that if I buy a chair in a color that doesn’t blend in with my office decor, it really annoys me.  My current office colors are light wood, red and coffee colored walls and warm brown colors.  My old black executive chair practically takes over the room and disrupts the calming energy I wanted in my space.
  • Returnable – I just got a new brown task chair that meets all these criteria.  I hope I still love it a month from now.  Once thing I’ve learning is that it takes a month at least to really break in a chair and get used to it.  Also you find out how good the cushions really are.  Any chair can be comfy for an hours…but after a 10-12 hour day (even with breaks) you really get to know how good a chair is.  There is no other way to test this than to buy one and try it for a least a week, though a month is better.  So unless you got a super cheap price or are willing to give the chair away if it doesn’t fit you, buy it from a place that makes it easy to return.
That’s my list for now. As you can see, needs assessment is the most CRITICAL phase of choosing an office chair!  : ) Take time to think through your needs and you will be a lot less likely to regret your chair.  That said…if you do end up regretting it, like I have, consider it an investment in learning about your personal criteria that will inform all your future furniture purchases.  
I’ll update this when I think of more.  Right now my photo insert on Word Press is not functioning…when I get it fixed I’ll share photos.  Till then, let me if this article was helpful to and if you have any questions related to this I’ll do my best to answer. 

Also let me know what features of office chairs you most need, like or don’t like….let’s learn together!

 p.s.  I tried to find all the typos, but most likely missed a couple…if you find one, let me know that too.  : )

Learn More about Agile Life Design and why it’s a core life skill for people who don’t fit the molds, they make the mold!  Whether you are working as a service professional in your own business, or in the worlds of medicine, healing, education, or corporations, if you are are a thought leader, innovator, therapist, teacher, author, designer, coach or healer trying to make a difference in the world, and conventional systems just don’t work for you, Agile Life Design may be the missing link to your greater life satisfaction.Learn More Here

Welcome to my Agile Life Design “Studio”

About My Studio

My virtual Life Design Studio is like a “lab” where I learn, create, experiment, try out new ideas and share my learning in real time.  The ideas here are not 100% polished, but since I’m always learning and growing and tweaking, they are never “done” anyway.  : ) I do my best to communicate clearly, but if you find something confusing or encounter a typo, let me know and I’ll correct it when I can.  To help me focus and manage my own perfectionist tendencies, I purposefully apply the 80/20 rule before publishing.  If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have a website or blog online at all.  Thanks for understanding!


What is Life Design?

Design is the art and process of figuring out creative, elegant options for resolving inner conflicts and fulfilling as many needs as possible to achieve the greatest impact without exhausting your resources.  This is true of all kinds of design whether you are designing a home, a meal, a product, a game, a piece of furniture or whether you are designing your days, weeks and months.  The fact is that we are always designing…we just aren’t aware of it.

The overall stages of the design process are the same across all applications of design.  It’s like walking, the basics are the same.  The difference is in how quickly, creatively, and thoughtfully you do it. When I started learning systems design concepts in 1980, I was struck by how easy it was to “over-design” and get caught up in the details before I even knew if the solution was actually viable or sustainable.  It is very easy to get stuck in the planning stages, or in the creative or visual aspects of design.

It’s also very easy to take so long designing that by the time you produce the solution it’s already obsolete. It’s annoying to spend a year designing a software system only to find out that it won’t run on the latest version of the computer it was meant to run on.

Today, needs change very quickly. You might think that would mean we don’t have time for design. But in reality, it means we need the ability to design more than ever.  Under-designing can lead to just as many fatal crashes as over-designing.  

What we need most today is smart design.  Design that is need-responsive, just-enough, just-in-time, and most of all, tweakable.  Solutions and systems must be easy to change when needs change – yet again.  The ability to design simple, quick, easy and sustainable systems is rapidly becoming a core life literacy skill as critical as learning how to read and write.

That’s were Agile comes in. We need to design Agility into every part of our lives if we want to thrive in a world where change is so fast and furious it’s like living in permanent white water rapids.

Agile Design is about:

  • Becoming able to more accurately “read” situations; to detect needs, validate and quantify what and how much is needed instead of just saying “I need more or less of “x”
  • Mediating conflicts between multiple needs vying for attention at the same time.
  • Anticipating future needs knowing that the needs and our estimates will change (instead of wondering if they will change)
  • Staying in touch with changing needs and being ready to change your solution or systems – as needed – at any time.
  • Becoming ready to respond quickly and appropriately to changing needs without getting stressed out by the need to change
  • Designing or choosing solutions that fit the needs and are easily adjustable to changing needs.
  • Rapidly prototyping solution ideas so you can quickly test them, identify any flaws in the design, and learn more about what factors will affect the success of the solution.
  • Quickly and iteratively launching systems or solutions.  Taking action sooner and risking making mistakes so that critical needs are met sooner rather than later.
  • Learning how to “tweak” systems with finesse instead of frustration.  In fact, designing “tweakability” into your systems in the first place is the epitome of smart, effective, agile systems design.

Agile is about staying flexible within the structure of the design process.  Agile Design thinking teaches you how to resolve the ever-present conflict between getting it “right” and getting it “done.”  It encourages you to not get carried away with trying to predict and control the final form the solution will take.

Agile Design is about staying focused on fulfilling multiple needs (like function, ease, fit, feel, form and style) with while not becoming overly attached to a specific solution ideas or designs. The Designer mindset is perpetually ready to do figure out an alternative, hopefully better, option for meeting the present needs. Becoming agile with design is empowering – it helps you feel competent, capable and “in charge” of your life without having to “control” it. Designers don’t expect systems to just happen, they thoughtfully prototype, experiment, try out ideas, tweak and shape systems with purposeful attention to changing needs.

What’s involved in applying Agile Life Design?  

 Agile Life Design is a mindset, a process, and a toolkit. It’s like a dance where you are constantly reading your partners moves, the music tempo etc and adjusting your moves to meet the context.  You don’t have to follow the steps, you get to customize the dance steps to yourpersonal  rhythms, needs, values and flair.  Design is about meeting functional needs and ALSO getting to have some FUN with your systems.

Agile Life Design is not a “rigid set of steps.  It’s not a “prescription” or “technique” like a planner system you try out and then get tired of. It’s a life skill you can cultivate and apply to all areas of life, for the rest of your life.  For example, earning how to design time management strategies that meets your unique needs instead of trying to follow a strategy or system someone else told you was the “best” way.  Best for them is not always best for you.  You decide what design criteria and important to you, and then you get to choose, customize or create the systems and tools that support you in implementing your custom design.

As your needs change, for example, suppose you switch from doing mostly project work for clients to making lots of appointments with clients, your whole approach to time management will need to be redesigned. Agile Life Design makes it much easier and less stressful to make the transition gracefully.

What are the Benefits of Agile Life Design?

Agile Life Design skills empower you forever – not just for now.  The actual systems you design will often have short lifespans.  And so they should.  As your needs and habits change and become more fluent in your design skills, you will need to adjust your systems to ensure they continue to support your needs.  Just like you needed new clothes every year as you got taller and taller.

Why does Agile Life Design work better than conventional organizing and productivity strategies for Neurodiverse and ADHD?

Neurodiverse people who are thriving have already become agile. In fact, everyone can benefit from Agile Life Design skills.  If your life evolves rapidly, or is more unpredictable than the average person for any reason, you need Agile Life Design.  If you, like me, have a history of time management challenges, or clutter, or ADHD, PTSD,  and / or are highly creative you need Agile Life Design more than the average person does.

People with ADHD are often natural improvisers and not natural schedule or “script” followers.  Life can work really well as an improvisational dance, but it does require a different kind of “choreography.”  Agile life design is in many ways, the creative person’s guide to choreographing the unpredictable life. It’s a whole different way of becoming ready to succeed in life. Agile Life Design works for neurodiverse, creative, sensitive and ADHD because it doesn’t emphasize developing self-control, instead it focuses on our strengths and uses our natural aptitudes and traits such as:

  • Pattern and relationship seeing
  • Being driven to constantly change and improve (a characteristic for which others put us down by saying we are too picky, sensitive, distractible or have “shiny object syndrome”)
  • Our ability to activate ourselves into action quickly (which may be called impulsivity – but I see this as an opportunity to design our own triggering or self-activating mechanisms.  Triggers that are channeled in positive directions are no longer called impulsive, you get called smart and responsive instead.)

Agile Life Design also helps you heal your relationship with yourself, increase your feelings of self-worth and confidence, and even manage your emotions better because it requires that you see yourself more compassionately, to see your value, to validate your own needs, and to make life choices and self-organizing decisions that affirm your right to be who you are without apologizing or feeling less than others.


p.s. The story of Agile actually began as a process for designing software in a rapidly changing context. I believe the story of Agile Life Design has always been with us, but now more than ever, it is one that must take center stage if we are to flourish in the complex, uncontrollable, unpredictable and rapidly changing world of the 21st century.

 


 Ready to get started? 

Before you do anything else, if you resonate with the idea of Agile Life Design,  I suggest joining my e-list.  We’ll get you started with a couple of my most popular PDFs delivered to your email today.  You’ll receive:

Simplifying Your Life: Agile Life Design Strategies for Doing What Matters Most  8 page Printable PDF

 

 Myths, Facts and Agile Life Design Strategies for Thriving with Adult ADHD A 6 page Printable PDF

  Join my e-mail list here.

 

 

 

Wholehearted Living Starts with Courage to Release Shame, Embrace Vulnerability and Imperfection – Brene Brown

In the spirit of giving and gratitude, my friend Indrani, the mastermind behind the non-profit organization Indrani’s Light, is giving away the recording of her inspiring teleseminar interview featuring author Dr. Brene Brown.  If you would like to like to be notified of future free “Chat and Chai” calls, please sign up here.

I was particularly excited about this call, because I’ve recently identified Brene Brown as one of the people I want to learn a lot more from.  Listening to her speak and watching her on You Tube for me was so gratifying.  Clients often ask me if there is a book or resource for learning more about what I mean my Self-acknowledgement and Self-compassion. Her work is one of the closest I’ve found yet.   To learn more, view my You Tube Playlist for Dr. Brene Brown. 

Here’s the link to download the MP3. 

 

BOOKS BY BRENE BROWN

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power  
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who Yo…  I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): 


TEDxHouston – Brené Brown Shame, Vulnerability, Whole Hearted Living 

Synopsis

Dr. Brené Brown is a researcher professor at the University of Houston, Graduate College of Social Work, where she has spent the past ten years studying a concept that she calls Wholeheartedness, posing the questions:

  • How do we engage in our lives from a place of authenticity and worthiness? 
  • How do we cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection that we need to embrace our imperfections and to recognize that we are enough — that we are worthy of love, belonging and joy? 

TEDxKC – Brené Brown – The Price of Invulnerability

Talk Synopsis  

In our anxious world, we often protect ourselves by closing off parts of our lives that leave us feeling most vulnerable. Yet invulnerability has a price. When we knowingly or unknowingly numb ourselves to what we sense threatens us, we sacrifice an essential tool for navigating uncertain times — joy. This talk will explore how and why fear and collective scarcity has profoundly dangerous consequences on how we live, love, parent, work and engage in relationships — and how simple acts can restore our sense of purpose and meaning.

About TEDx, x = independently organized event 

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized. (Subject to certain rules and regulations.)

Could we please stop calling Steve Jobs “obnoxious” or “egomaniac”?

I was truly dismayed to see someone as influential and talented as Steven Johnson, author of the brilliant book  Where Good Ideas Come From: The Natural History of Innovation say this about Steve Jobs:

“But for all his obnoxiousness with his colleagues…, Jobs had a rich collaborative streak as well. He was enough of an egomaniac to think of himself as another John Lennon, but he was always looking for McCartneys to go along for the ride with him.”

http://www.stevenberlinjohnson.com/2011/10/thoughts-on-steve-jobs-the-book.html

To me, this is a kind of intellectual bullying – the kind that gifted people experience their whole lives because they are deeply misunderstood. I wonder if Mr. Johnson is familiar with the literature on giftedness and intensity and, if he were, would he use words like “egomaniac” so easily to describe this genius?

Intensity of energy, drive, compassion, and frustration is a well-documented aspect of having extraordinary intelligence and empathy. Steve Jobs was lucky he had productive outlets for his intensity, but he also paid a high price.  I deeply admire that he was strong enough to not let his creative passion be subdued or muted by the people around him who were clueless about how to cultivate or cope with his intense drive to innovate. Luckily he insisted on cultivating it himself. Even when he got booted from Apple for his emotional intensity, he refused to give up and moved on to become the force behind Pixar and Toy Story.

It takes a very intense kind of person to challenge the status quo and do what people say can’t be done. Not only were lots of people not supporting him, they were actively trying to suppress and modify him as well. How long would you stand up for your big idea if everyone around you was trying to change it?

To me, Steve Jobs exhibited a personality trait called “hypersystemizing” or “addicted to insight.” Hypersystemizing has a biological basis and is often the driving force behind the kind of idealism and perfectionist behavior that Steve Jobs displayed. This is not everyday perfectionism, however. It’s a deep driving need to create something truly magnificent and not let others water down the visionary ideas with “groupthink.”

Continue reading

You are NOT your own worst enemy…at least…you don’t have to be.

EVERYTHING we do is with the intention to make our short-term, present emotional lives either, less painful / stressful, more tolerable, or more meaningful / pleasurable in some way.

We are always coping with the imperative of making the NOW bearable as we pursue our longer-term ideals. How to integrate our short-term intrinsic rewards with our long term goals/desires?

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On Resistance and the Art of War

I learned a lot about how to AVOID inner war by reading the “Art of War” by SunTzu – he teaches the utter brilliance of winning by never going to war.

He thinks in terms of “oppositional forces” rather than enemies. Hate or disrespect for your opposition actually makes YOU weak…not them.

Think of your Resistance as your natural opposition to “over-controlling” or “over-pressuring” or “not listening” to some part of yourself that isn’t yet “READY” for what you are proposing.

When you are resisting doing something you think you “should” be doing, instead of fighting it, try asking yourself one of more of these questions:

- What would help me feel more “ready” to do this?
- What time of day might I more naturally be inclined to do this?
- What’ would make this feel easier?
- What is the really value of doing this?
- What will the impact be? in the short term?
- How little of this could I do and call it good enough?
- What assumptions am I making about when, where, how, how much, how long, with who, how perfect, how many?
- What could I redesign to make this more attractive?

Focusing on readiness to do things rather than “pushing” or coercing yourself is much more satisfying in the long run. Try it a couple times.

See how your resistance changes when your creative brain kicks in. : )

http://www.artofwarsuntzu.com/SunTzuEBook.htm

The Truth about Chronic Disorganization: What Causes It and How to Heal the Trauma of Lifelong Overwhelm and Frustration

Although I prefer the term “Lifelong Disorganization“, the established industry terms are “chronic disorganization” and “challenging disorganization” this is not intended to imply a medical condition, nor an “incurable” condition.

The intention of the terms are to distinguish an ”ongoing pattern of disorganization” from the ”short term situational disorganization” and clutter that is the normal result of grief, illness, having children, and other life events, transitions, and changes. That said, it is quite common for what started as “stituational disorganization” to evolve into “chronic” or “challenging disorganization”. 

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What is Situationally Disorganized?

When life throws you a curveball, most of us tend to accumulate clutter and become rather disorganized for a while. It’s happens to everyone. We become ill, a family member becomes ill, we are assigned a project at work that requires a lot of travel, or has a ridiculous deadline. Our lives change. We move, get married, have kids, or start a new job. During times of transition, a certain amount of chaos, clutter and disorganization is natural. This is what we call “Situationally Disorganized”: Disorganization that is a normal side effect of a life situation.

What makes “Chronic Disorganization” different?

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